I hear “I’m fine” a lot throughout my days. If you are a parent of a pre-teen girl, I am sure that you do too! “How are you?” “I’m fine.” “Do you want any help?” “No, I’m fine.” “You seem really upset, let’s talk.” “I said, I’m fine.” It’s hard to be shut out like this and left on the outside of her experiences, helpless and defeated. One thing I’ve learned and what I know for sure about girls is this: “I’m fine” could mean she’s fine but rarely does. “I’m fine” can mean, “I don’t want to talk about it.” “I’m fine” can mean, “I’m okay but I could be better.” “I’m fine” can mean, “I really want to tell you but I just don’t know how.” And “I’m fine” can mean, “I will talk about it but not right now.” Thus, “I’m fine” has become secret code for what’s really going on for her and code we must try to crack (carefully and with all the empathy we can muster). If we imagine being a teen girl (just for a minute), this response makes sense – she wants to be independent from us and figure life out on…...